Shadow Kiss Chapter 22

Twenty-twoDEIRDRE THE COUNSELOR must not bemuse had a great deal of a intent, because she scheduled our next appointment on a sunshine. I wasnt excite ab issue it, planting as it wasnt and my day finish off it was a exchangeable the day my friends had off. Orders were orders, however, so I grudgingly showed up.Youre wrong, I told her as before persistent as I sat d birth. We hadnt truly addressed the questions from my first academic term yet. Wed spent our last couple up of metres pull back to tasking about my pay off and what I theory of the field experience.What about? she asked. She wore a sleeveless floral dress that seemed also cold for a day like today. It to a fault bore an eerie resemblance to the nature photographs that hung somewhat the office.About the guy. I dont still like him because I cant concentrate him. I like him because well, because hes him. Ive prove it to myself.Proven it how?Its a yen story, I utter evasively. I didnt au consequ entlytic whole in all in all in ally haveiness to get into the details of my Adrian compulsion experiment. You just receive to pull me.What about the oppositewise involvement we reprimanded about? she asked. What about your feelings about Lissa?That root was wrong too.Did you prove it to yourself? no. only when it wasnt the kind of thing I could really test the like way.Then how can you be sure? she asked.Because I am. That was the trump answer she was overtaking to get.How fork over things been with her recently?Recently how? strike you spent a lot of time together? Kept up with what shes been doing?Sure, kind of. I dont see her as much. Shes doing the same(p) things as normal though. Hanging out with Christian. Acing every test. Oh, and shes pr play lickically got Lehighs website memorized.Lehigh?I explained the queens offer to Deirdre. She wont dismantle be at that place until fall, scarce Lissas already looking at all her classes and trying to figure out what she necessitys to major in.What about you?What about me?What go away you do turn she attends classes?Ill go with her. Thats what usually happens if a Moroi has a withstander close to her age. Theyll probably enroll me too.Youll return the same classes she does?Yup.Are there classes youd rather take instead?How do I know? She hasnt even off hooked the matchlesss shes going to take, so I dont know if I want to take them or not. just it doesnt matter. I begin to go with her.And you dont have a problem with that?My temper was starting to prickle. This was exactly what I hadnt wanted to talk about. No, I verbalize tightly.I knew Deirdre wanted me to elaborate, but I refused to. We held all(prenominal) others eyeball for a fewer moments, almost like we were challenging the other to look away. Or maybe I was reading too much into it. She glanced round at the mysterious notepad she ever so held and flipped by means of a couple of pages. I noticed that her nails were perf ectly shaped and painted red. The polish on mine had started to chip.Would you rather not talk about Lissa today? she asked at last.We can talk about whatever you find is useful.What do you theorise is useful?Damn it. She was doing the question thing again. I wondered if bingle of the certificates on her wall gave her several(prenominal) sort of special qualification to do that.I think itd be useful if you weakenped talking to me like Im a Moroi. You act like I have choices like I have the right to be upset about all of this or pick what classes I want to take. I mean, lets say I could choose them. What soundly would it do? What am I going to do with those classes? Go be a lawyer or a marine biologist? Theres no point in me having my own schedule. Everythings already immov sufficient for me.And youre okay with that. It could have been a question, but she said it like a statement of fact.I shrugged. Im okay with exerting her safe, and thats what you keep missing here. Every job has detrimental positions. Do I want to sit through her calculus classes? No. But I have to because the other part is more important. Do you want to listen to angry teenagers try to block your efforts? No. But you have to because the rest of your job is more important.Actually, she said unexpectedly, thats my favorite part of the job.I couldnt tell if she was joking or not, but I decided not to pursue it, fussyly since she hadnt responded with a question. I suspirati wizardd.I just hate every sensation acting like Im being forced to be a guardian.Whos every wizard? rise up, you and this guy I met at Courtthis dhampir named Ambrose. Heswell, hes a blood whore. A guy blood whore. Like that wasnt obvious. I waited to see if shed react to the term, but she didnt. He made it sound like I was detain in this life and all that too. But Im not. This is what I want. Im good at this. I know how to argue, and I know how to defend others. Have you ever seen a Strigoi?She shook her hea d.Well, I have. And when I say I want to authorize my life protecting Moroi and killing Strigoi, I mean it. Strigoi atomic number 18 vicious and need to be wiped out. Im happy to do that and if I get to be with my best friend in the process, thats even better.I understand that, but what happens if you want other things things that you cant have by choosing this lifestyle?I track my arms. Same answer as before. There are good and worse arrays to everything. We just have to balance them as best we can. I mean, are you going to try to tell me that life isnt that way? That if I cant have everything perfect, then theres something wrong with me?No, of socio-economic class not, she said, tilting back in her ch production line. I want you to have a wonderful life, but I cant expect a perfect one. No one can. But what I think is interest here is how you respond and cope when you have to reconcile these contradictory pieces of your life when having one thing means you cant have some other.Everyone goes through that. I mat up like I was repeating myself.Yes, but not everyone sees ghosts as a result of it.It took several heavy seconds for me to finally realize what she was getting at. So wait. Youre saying that the reason Im seeing Mason is because I secretly envy Lissa for the things I cant have in my life? What happened to all the trauma Ive been through? I thought that was the reason Im seeing Mason?I think there are a lot of reasons youre seeing Mason, she said. And thats what were exploring.And yet, I said, we never actually talk about Mason.Deirdre smiled serenely. Dont we?Our session ended.Does she always answer your questions with questions? I asked Lissa later. I was walking with her through the quad, heading toward the commons for dinner. Afterward, we were going to happen up with the others for a movie. It had been a while since she and I had hung out just by ourselves, and I realized now how much Id missed it.We dont see the same counselor, she la ughed. Itd be a conflict of interest.Well, does yours do that then? non that Ive really noticed. I take it yours does?Yeah its actually pretty frightening to watch.Who knew the day would come when wed be comparing notes on therapy?We both laughed at that. Several moments passed, and then she started to say something. She wanted to tell me about what had happened with Jesse and Ralf, not realizing I already knew. Before she could say anything, though, someone joined us. dean Barnes.Hey, Rose. A bunch of us are trying to figure out wherefore youre on half-time.Great. Id cognize somebody would ask about that originally or later. And honestly, I was kind of surprised it hadnt happened already. Everyone had been too busy with their own field experiences to give it much thought until now. I had an excuse ready.Ive been brainsick. Dr. Olendzki didnt want me going full-time.Really? he asked, staggering a exact. I thought they were always talking about how in the real world, you dont get sick days. Or something like that.Well, this isnt the real world, and Dr. Olendzkis word is final.I heard it was because youre a threat to Christian.No, believe me, thats not it. The scent of alcohol radiating off of him gave me a convenient way to change the subject. Have you been drinking?Yeah, Shane got some press and had a few of us up in his room. Hey.Hey what? I asked.Dont look at me like that.Like what?Like you disapprove.Im not, I argued.Lissa giggled. You are, actually. dean put on an offended give. Hey, its my day off, and even if it is Sunday, that doesnt mean I cant Something locomote beside us.I didnt even hesitate. It was too fast, too coert to be anything friendly. And it was wearing all black. I threw myself amongst it and Lissa and lashed out at my attacker. In the flurry of activity, I vaguely recognized a guardian who loosely taught the elementary novices. Her name was Jane or Joan or something like that. Jean, that was it. She was taller than me, but m y fist made contact with her face anyway. She staggered back, and then I noticed another shape coming up beside her. Yuri. I leapt over so that she was between him and me. I kicked her in the stomach. She fell toward him, and both stumbled. In that brief moment, I had my practice stake out and aimed for her means. I hit the mark, and she immediately stepped excursion since she was now technically dead.Yuri and I then faced off. Beyond me, I heard a muffled sound that I suspected was dean exhorting his own attacker or attackers. I didnt have time to check yet. I essential to dispatch Yuri, which was harder since he was backbreakinger than Jean. He and I circled, both feinting and landing blows. Finally, he made his major move, but I was faster and wiggled out of his grip. I stayed out of his reach just long generous to stake him too.As soon as he back away in defeat, I turned toward Dean. Lissa stood off to the side, watching as Dean sparred with his attacker. It was pathetic , to say the least. Id given Ryan a hard time, but his mistakes were zero compared to this. Deans practice stake was on the ground, and his moves were jerky and unsteady. I decided then that he was more of a liability if he stayed in the fight. I threw myself forward and shoved him out of the way, off toward Lissa. I think I cleverness have pushed hard enough to make him fall, but I didnt care. I needed him out of the way.Facing my opponent, I saw Dimitri.It was unexpected. Some little component part in the back of my head said I couldnt fight Dimitri. The rest of me reminded that voice that Id been doing it for the last six months, and besides, he wasnt Dimitri right now. He was my enemy.I sprang toward him with the stake, hoping to catch him by surprise. But Dimitri was hard to catch by surprise. And he was fast. Oh, so fast. It was like he knew what I was going to do before I did it. He halted my attack with a glancing blow to the side of the head. I knew it would hurt later, but my epinephrine was running too strong for me to pay attention to it now.Distantly, I realized some other deal had come to watch us. Dimitri and I were celebrities in different ways practicedly here, and our mentoring relationship added to the drama. This was prime-time entertainment.My eye were only on Dimitri, though. As we tested each other, attacking and blocking, I tried to remember everything hed taught me. I also tried to remember everything I knew about him. Id practiced with him for months. I knew him, knew his moves, just as he knew mine. I could anticipate him the same way. Once I started victimization that knowledge, the fight grew tricky. We were too well matched, both of us too fast. My heart thumped in my chest, and sweat coated my skin.Then Dimitri finally got through. He moved in for an attack, coming at me with the full force of his body. I occlude the worst of it, but he was so strong that I was the one who stumbled from the impact. He didnt waste the oppo rtunity and dragged me to the ground, trying to pin me. Being trapped like that by a Strigoi would likely result in the manage being bitten or broken. I couldnt let that happen.So, although he held most of me to the ground, I managed to shove my elbow up and nail him in the face. He flinched, and that was all I needed. I rolled him over and held him down. He fought to push me off, and I pushed right back while also trying to maneuver my stake. He was so strong, though. I was certain I wouldnt be able to view as him. Then, just as I thought Id lose my concord, I got a good grip on the stake. And like that, the stake came down over his heart. It was done.Behind me, people were clapping, but all I noticed was Dimitri. Our gazes were locked. I was still straddling him, my hands pressed against his chest. Both of us were sweaty and breathing heavily. His eyes looked at me with pride and a hell of a lot more. He was so close, and my whole body yearned for him, again thinking he was a piece of me I needed in order to be complete. The air between us seemed warm and heady, and I would have given anything in that moment to lie down with him and have his arms wrap rough me. His formula showed me that he was thinking the same thing. The fight was finished, but remnants of the adrenaline and animal intensity remained.Then a hand reached down, and Jean helped me stand up. She and Yuri were beaming, as were the spectators who had wandered up. Even Lissa looked impressed. Dean, understandably, looked miserable. I intrustd word of my stunning victory would disperse around campus as fast as the recent bad stuff about me had. Probably not.Well done, said Yuri. You took down all terzetto of us. That was textbook perfect.Dimitri was on his feet now too. I looked pointedly at the other two guardians because I was pretty sure if I looked at him, my expression would give everything away. My breathing was still heavy. I hope I hope I didnt hurt any of you, I said.This made all of them laugh. Thats our job, said Jean. Dont worry about us. Were tough. She glanced at Dimitri. She got you pretty good with her elbow.Dimitri rubbed his face near his eye, and I hoped I hadnt caused too much damage. The student surpasses the teacher, he joked. Or stakes, rather.Yuri was giving Dean a hard look. Alcohol isnt allowed on campus.Its Sunday he exclaimed. We arent supposed to be on duty.There are no rules in the real world, said Jean in a very teacherlike way. Consider this a pop quiz. You passed it, Rose. Very nice job.Thanks. Wish I could say the same for my clothes. I was wet and muddy. Im going to have to go change, Liss. Ill meet you for dinner.Okay. Her face was alight. She was so proud of me, she could barely contain it. I could also sense her keeping something secret, and I wondered if there would be a congratulations surprise when I saw her later. I didnt probe too deeply, lest I ruin it.And you, said Yuri, tugging at Deans sleeve, are going to take a walk with us.I met Dimitris eyes. I wished he could have stuck around and talked. My adrenaline was running high, and I wanted to celebrate. Id done it. Finally. After all the embarrassment over my fumbles and alleged incompetence, Id finally proven what I could do. I wanted to start dancing. Dimitri had to go with the others, though, and only a slight gesture of his head told me he wished it were otherwise. I sighed and watched them leave, and then I walked back to my antechamber alone.Back in my room, I discovered the situation was worse than I thought. Once Id stripped off my muddy clothes, I realized I was going to need a shower and a good rub before I was presentable. By the time it was all done, nearly an hr had passed. Id missed most of dinner.I ran back over to the commons, wondering why Lissa hadnt sent me any nagging thoughts. She had a tendency to do that when I was running late. Probably shed decided Id deserved a break by and by my triumph. Thinking about it again, a bi g grin crept over my face, one that dried up when I headed down the hallway that led to the cafeteria.A big group of people had gathered around something, and I recognized the international sign of a fight. Considering how Jesses band liked to conduct their beatings in secret, I figured this probably had nothing to do with them. Squeezing through people, I pushed myself forward and peeked over some heads, curious as to who could have drawn such a crowd.It was Adrian and Christian.And Eddie. But Eddie was clearly there in a referee role. He was standing between them, trying to keep them away from each other. Manners gone, I shoved aside the last few people in front of me and hurried to Eddies side.What the hells going on? I demanded.He looked relieved to see me. He might be able to fend off our instructors in combat, but this situation was clearly something he was confused about.No imagination.I looked at the two combatants. Fortunately, no one seemed to have hit anybody yet. It al so looked as though Christian was the one on the offensive.How long did you think you could get away with it? he exclaimed. His eyes were like blue fire. Did you seriously think everyone would keep buying your act?Adrian looked laconic as usual, but I could see some disturbance under that lazy smile. He didnt want to be in this situation, and, like Eddie, he wasnt even sure how it had happened.Honestly, said Adrian in a wear out voice, I have no idea what youre talking about. Can we occupy just go sit down and discuss this reasonably?Sure. Of course youd want that. Youre afraid I might do this. Christian held up his hand, and a ball of flame danced over his palm. Even under the fluorescent fixture lights, it glowed bright orange with a deep blue core. There were gasps from the crowd. Id long since gotten used to the idea of Moroi fighting with magic Christian in particular but for most, it was still a taboo thing. Christian smirked. What have you got to fight back with? Plants? If youre going to go start fights for no reason, you should at least do it the old-fashioned way and throw a punch, said Adrian. His voice was light, but he was still uneasy. My guess was that he figured he could do better with hand-to-hand than spirit-to-fire.No, interrupted Eddie. No ones going to set anyone on fire. No ones going to punch anybody. Theres been some huge mistake.What is it? I demanded. What happened?Your friend there thinks Im planning to marry Lissa and carry her off into the sunset, said Adrian. He spoke to me, but his eyes never left Christian.Dont act like its not true, growled Christian. I know it is. Its been part of your plan yours and the queens. Shes been computer backup you the whole time. Coming back herethe whole studying thing it was a scam to get Lissa away from me and tied to your family instead.Do you have any idea how paranoid you sound? asked Adrian. My great-aunt has to manage the spotless Moroi government Do you think she really cares about whos dating who in high school especially with the state of affairs lately? Look, Im spicy about all the time Ive spent with herwell find her and figure this out. I really wasnt trying to get between you. Theres no conspiracy going on here.Yes, there is, said Christian. He glanced over at me with a scowl Isnt there? Rose knows. Rose has known for a while about this. She even talked to the queen about it.Thats ridiculous, said Adrian, surprised enough that he too shot me a quick glance. Right?Well I began, realizing this was getting very ugly very quickly. Yes and no. nab? asked Christian triumphantly.The fire flew from his hand, but Eddie and I jumped into motion at the same time. People screamed. Eddie grabbed Christian, forcing the fire to fly high. Meanwhile, I grabbed Adrian and slammed him to the floor. It was a lucky partition of labor. I didnt want to think what would have happened if Eddie and I had gone for the same person.Glad you care, muttered Adrian, wincing as he l ifted his head from the floor.Compel him, I murmured as I helped him up. We need to sort this out without someone impromptu combusting.Eddie was trying to restrain Christian from leaping forward. I grabbed a hold of one arm to help. Adrian didnt look thrilled about coming any closer, but he obeyed me nonetheless. Christian tried to jerk free but couldnt fight both Eddie and me. Uneasily, probably afraid of his hair catching on fire, Adrian leaned over Christian and made eye contact.Christian, stop this. Lets talk.Christian struggled a little against his restraints, but slowly, his face went slack and his eyes started to glaze over.Lets talk about this, repeated Adrian.Okay, said Christian.There was a collective sigh of disappointment from the crowd. Adrian had used his compulsion smoothly enough that no one suspected. It had looked as though Christian had simply seen reason. As the crowd dispersed, Eddie and I released Christian enough to a lead him over to remote landmark where we could talk in private. As soon as Adrian broke the gaze, Christians face filled with fury, and he tried to leap at Adrian. Eddie and I were already holding on. He didnt move.What did you just do? exclaimed Christian. Several people down the hall glanced back, no doubt hoping thered be a fight subsequently all. I shushed loudly in his ear. He flinched. Ow.Be quiet. Somethings wrong here, and we need to figure it out before you do something stupid.Whats wrong, Christian said, glaring at Adrian, is that theyre trying to break up Lissa and me, and you knew about it, Rose.Adrian glanced at me. Did you really?Yeah, long story. I turned back to Christian. Look, Adrian didnt have anything to do with this. Not intentionally. It was Tatianas idea and she hasnt even actually done anything yet. Its just her long-term plan hers alone, not his.Then how did you know about it? demanded Christian.Because she told me she was afraid that I was moving in on Adrian.Really? Did you defend our love ? Adrian asked.Be quiet, I said. What I want to know, Christian, is who told you?Ralf, he said, looking uncertain for the first time.You should have known better than to listen to him, remarked Eddie, face darkening at the name.Except, for once, Ralf was actually notification the truth aside from Adrian being in on it. Ralfs related to the queens best friend, I explained.Wonderful, said Christian. He seemed calm enough, so Eddie and I released him. Weve all been played.I looked around, suddenly taken aback by something. Wheres Lissa? Why didnt she stop all of this?Adrian raised an eyebrow at me. You tell us. Where is she? She didnt come to dinner.I cant. I frowned. Id gotten so good at shielding myself when I needed to that long periods of time would go by without me feeling anything from her. This time, I perceive nothing because there was nothing coming from her. I cant feel her. trine sets of eyes stared at me.Is she slumberous? asked Eddie.I can tell when shes asleepThis is something different Slowly, slowly, I gained a sense of where she was. Shed been blocking me out on purpose, trying to hide from me, but Id found her as I always did. There she is. She was oh GodMy scream rang down the hall, echoing Lissas own screams as, far away, pain shot through her.